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20 June 2007 @ 01:13 am
Izzie had an idea that had been eating at her for a while now, and she'd gotten up this morning feeling a little more bold than usual (in her defense, her head was pounding from the massive hangover she'd gotten the night before).

So, she'd put on her new lip gloss, pulled back her hair (which looked remarkably good considering that she woke up with half an hour to get to work), and nonchalantly searched for a chart that did not exist.

She didn't have to wait long for a flash of red to catch her attention. Placing the chart back neatly, she jogged a little to catch up to Addison.

"Dr. Montgomery, could I talk to you for a second?"
 
 
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
 
 
29 May 2007 @ 12:16 pm
Addison tapped her foot repeatedly against the floor, sitting behind her desk as she stared at her watch. She'd just gotten out of surgery and was feeling extra anxious. Paging Mark immediately would have made her look desperate, and honestly, she was a little, though she'd never admit to it. That would be happening soon enough though.

She'd probably never stop hating the fact that she was no longer in charge of her body, at least, not for the next six months. Her hormones controlled her emotions. Her new eating habits and the growth of their baby would change her body whether she liked it or not. There was really nothing she could do, but she'd begun to accept those facts and that she'd just have to deal with all of it for quite some time.

After a while, Addison finally deemed the time that'd passed long emough. She pulled out her blackberry and paged Mark, leaving our some of the more embarassing details like having thought about him and their stuff all throughout her surgery.

When she finished, she put it away and tried to wait patiently. Getting antsy, she stood and started to pace her office, walking back and forth in front of her couch. Mark really could not come any sooner.
 
 
Despite her late night out with Izzie the night before, she wasn't that tired - or maybe she was and she just refused to stand still. She had gotten to scrub in on her first plastic surgery, and there was no way she was going to take a step back and graciously bow out now. While she was appreciative, she had proved that she could in fact remain a silent observer in the OR. So now Mark really didn't have en excuse to exclude him from his surgeries. She realized she still had a lot to learn, but cooperating with her superiors had never been a problem with her.

She hadn't seen or spoken to Derek since they'd agreed to go their separate ways, and in a way that made it easier to go back to the way things had been: attaching herself to Sloan and begging him to let her do something worthwhile. Fortunately since he had caved once already, she had at least one patient that she could link herself to, and she took every available opportunity to go and make sure that patient was comfortable.

She had just come back from her second routine check since she'd clocked in that morning, deciding that she should stop dropping in so frequently. She had a bad habit of doing that. Once she got comfortable with doing something or being around someone, it was like she gravitated towads them. She wouldn't necessarily consider herself clingy because she rarely grew comfortable enough with someone to continually hang around them, but there were a few exceptions.

So now what to do? It was amazing that no many how many times she circled the hospital, there was rarely a doctor in sight. It's like they were in hiding or something. Or they could just be busy doing their jobs, but where was the likelihood in that? But there was one way to get ahead. She had a tendency to sneak a peak at the surgeons' schedules. Major things to look for was when they were coming in and if or when they had scheduled surgeries. That always helped. So when she saw that Mark Sloan didn't come in for another half hour, she'd go ahead and grab two cups of coffee ( one for him and one for herself ) and circle back around to the lobby.

This gave a whole new meaning to 'pouncing' someone as soon as they walked through the door, but hey, she had done her share. She'd sorted through some more of Mark's paperwork and filed the folders in their proper places, and she was going to be sure to point that out. Besides, there wasn't anyone else standing in line waiting to be his intern for the day. The only other person who had shown a primary interest in Plastics was Alex, and he was busy with . . . other things. One thing Sloan couldn't say about her was that she wasn't dedicated.

Fingertips drummed lightly on the desk as she cast a brief glance to the clock before resettling her gaze on the glass doors.
 
 
She hadn't been assigned to anyone for the day, so her shift had ended earlier than it usually did. After doing a sweep of the hospital and being unable to find Izzie, she assumed Mark had sent her off on one of his wild errands. So for now she'd go home just long enough to shower, planning on returning to the hospital once she was done. The last few days - or the last week, really - had been incredibly exhausting. She hadn't really taken the time to unwind from it all, but she knew there was plenty of time for that later. She had a habit of shoving her problems to the back of her mind and focusing on others. She wore herself thin, even if she refused to admit it. But overall, she knew she could deal with whatever came her way.

Izzie was another story. She knew very little about how strong her female companion was. So as of now, she would be the supportive friend willing to lend an ear, shoulder to cry on, or simply be there to lift her spirits. She would be the person Izzie could lean on, although she already had George and Meredith. But it never hurt to have options - not that she would know much about that from personal experience. Still, she had survived a lot in her lifetime, and she knew that if she could make it through, anyone could. Sometimes a person just couldn't see that on their own, so someone else had to step up and show them that they would be okay.

After she showered and changed, she'd reapply her make-up and dry her hair before brushing it and sleeking it down. Hands briefly tugged at the hem of the denim skirt she'd chosen to wear for the evening as she made her way to the door. She wasn't sure what kind of plans Izzie had in mind, but she was down for whatever - although after they got a chance to talk, she had a feeling they could both use a little pick-me-up. Maybe now was't the best time for her to be trying to cheer somewhere else up. She wasn't exactly level-headed at the moment. She was still 'nursing a broken heart' from being dumped by Derek who hadn't seemed to regret his decision any. At least that was the conclusion she'd come to since he hadn't tried to talk to her since they broke up. And the fact that she'd called her father and spoken to him for the first time since she'd ran away also put a huge damper on her mood. But she wanted him to know that she had a good life. She'd succeeded despite his best efforts to knock her down, and she'd found her brother. Of course they'd batted insults back and forth, but the reality of the situation was he was a pathetic, bitter old man who had nothing - he couldn't hurt her anymore. She'd won, no matter what damage he'd done. She'd always carry the scars he left behind, but she'd survived.

On her way back to the hospital, her mind wandered to Derek once again. Really, she would do or try anything to take her mind off him. Thinking of him only made keeping her distance harder, and that's obviously what he wanted. She had to respect his decision, but it was difficult. Even she wanted to be loved. She wanted to be desired. And maybe the particular attire she'd selected for the evening, it demonstrated that. Tonight she wasn't holding back: she was fair game. If Derek and Alex wanted to play the field, there was no reason she and Izzie couldn't go out and have a little fun of their own. What's the worst that could happen? A dangerous philosophy? Maybe. But she was willing to go to any extreme to cheer both Izzie and herself up, because they deserved a break.

Once she re-entered the hospital, she'd take a seat in a vacant chair on the far side of the room, reclining back as she waited for Izzie, legs crossed, mind drifting back to someplace else.
 
 
09 March 2007 @ 11:50 pm
Izzie walked toward the nurses' station, feeling pretty bad. She hadn't really caught a break in weeks, was way too busy to talk to anyone, and hadn't slept in a really long time...2 days? 3 days? The last time she had slept had been for a lousy 5 hours...2 of which were spent crying, 1 of which was spent ransacking the refrigerator. It resulted in her feeling completely gross and depressed, and rather irritable.

So when she had given Bailey a smart ass remark (not smart), she had been automatically assigned to Sloan, which added to her already pissy mood. But she hid it as well as she could while she walked up to him.

"Dr. Sloan," she said, trying to keep her voice light. "I'm assigned to you today."
 
 
Current Location: Nurses' Station
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
 
 
 
She'd finished observing her first cleft palate surgery about a half hour ago, and ever since it'd been hard for her to sit still. She didn't know whether it was the surgery that had gotten her adrenaline pumping or whether there was any correlation between the two at all. But whatever the case, she stayed active, shuffling here and there as she checked in on the patient ( as well as a few others whose cases she'd been keeping up with ) and filed the pre-op paperwork into its rightful location after making sure it had already been signed by Dr. Sloan whose crafty handiwork in the OR she had complimented ( only after he was completely finished and stepped outside the room -- incase he decided to include that as her breaking her promised silence during the procedure ). All in all, everything had run smoothly.

Her mood was a strange one. One minute she was up, the next down. Her day had been a mixture of good and bad, and one didn't seem to cancel out the other as it normally did. She still had a lot on her mind, but no one would think she was anything but happy because of the small smile that remained worn across her face.

The hospital seemed to be fairly quiet today. She hadn't run into any of the others interns, nor had she run into Derek ( which she was thankful for - she wasn't looking forward to the awkwardness that was bound to ensue as they pretended that nothing had ever happened between them ). The temporary calm was a refreshing change from the chaotic lives of not only the patients, but the doctors, interns, and other staff members as well, and she intended on taking full advantage of the short-lived change of pace - even if it was just to catch her breath.

Speaking of which, she hadn't realized how tired she was until now. Maybe it was all the small, random tasks she'd busied herself with since the day started that had worn her out so, or maybe her sudden state of exhaustion was because of the mental and emotional strain she'd been dealing with as of late. No matter what the reasoning was behind it, she needed to sit down for a minute - take a break. She decided to grab a bite to eat as well. She hadn't had anything since breakfast, and even then she'd been running late, so it had been a small one. With that in mind, she veered towards the best place to do both: the cafeteria.

After grabbing a tray filled with the more edible appearing items to choose from, she'd turn and spot Addison seated at a nearby table. She hesitated a moment, unsure of whether she was angry with her or not or whether she should approach her. But she decided that they were bound to run into each other sooner or later, and she preferred sooner. Besides, it was best to get everything out of the way instead of letting things settle and build over time. That tended to make things worse. With that mentality, she made her way over and took a seat in the vacant chair across from her. "Hey. Hope this seat isn't taken . . ." Realistically she knew it wasn't, but the remark was made primarily to get Addison's attention and see how she would greet her.
 
 
24 February 2007 @ 11:05 am
Alex had piled his tray high with food, plen ty for both him and Callie. He had goten a chicken sandwich, a turkey sandwich and a roast beef sandwich, not knowing what she would want. A coupel bags of chips and pieces of fruit along with two bottles of water and a cartoon of milk.

O'Malley had said nothing to him about the ultrasound photo. In truth, it sort of pissed him off. Alex had made the effort, now George needed to make it back. Although it was probably better for Alex if George stayed out of the picture. It meant Callie wouldn't have to pick between the two of them. It meant he had his family.

He had never had a family. Well he had a father who beat the shit out of him. That was a family, but not what a family was supposed to be. He knew his grandfather had beaten his dad as well, but the cycle ended with him. He had been resolved in that fact since his teen years. He would never ever lay a hand to his child. He would be there for the sporting events and help fix their cars and their broken hearts.

Alex had never pictured it happening like this though. Not with Callie. Not with her carrying George's child. Not in his intern year, but here it was happening and he was allowing it to happen. Sure he had doubts, but Callie....when he held her in his arms.....all the doubts seemed worth it for her.
 
 
Current Location: Cafeteria
 
 
19 February 2007 @ 06:17 pm
So after a long talk with Derek, they had decided ( or really he had decided for her ) that they were over. He didn't want to screw up her sibling relationship with Mark or compromise that in any way, so he'd removed himself from the picture. As noble of a gesture as that was, she didn't need people making decisions to protect her or spare her or any extra heartache. She believed that with time she could get Mark to understand or at least cut her a break about the whole Derek thing. But Derek didn't seem to want to fight, which was no surprise. He rarely did. Why should she be any different? He'd walked away from Addison and Meredith. She hadn't even meant anything to him. It was only a matter of time, and she should've known better. That still didn't make it any easier. It was almost as if it'd been a game - life was teasing her to see if she could still love . . . and she could, but nothing would ever come of it.

But then again she never got placed in an ideal situation - always the difficult ones. There wasn't a single aspect of her life that was simple and problem-free: not one. This was no exception.

As usual her day was slow, so she stopped by the lounge where she could temporarily take refuge and sort through her thoughts - or so she thought. Instead she found the room already occupied by the one person who she needed to see ( as much as she was dreading it ). A flicker of guilt was evident as hues rested on him, the door gently shut behind her. This wasn't supposed to be this way. She hadn't done anything wrong. Or maybe she had, but if that was the case, Mark had done the exact same thing. He had been with Addison when she was married to his best friend. How could he judge her when she didn't judge him for the choices he'd made? Was it that hard to understand? For a moment, she didn't know what to say - which was definitely a first for her. Hands were pressed together in front of her as she decided to address the issue but find an opening line that could lead up to the conversation they needed to have.

"How's your hand?" It didn't look too bad, but it could still hurt. She would've asked him the day before, only he stayed pretty busy up until the time he left, and she'd decided not to bother him at home. Her tone was laced with concern, although she still wasn't happy with the way he'd reacted. But she figured she'd already conveyed that.
 
 
14 February 2007 @ 09:29 pm
After locating an empty on-call room and stepping inside, she'd let Derek enter before shutting the door behind them. She stood, back turned to him for a moment. A deep breath was taken before she finally strayed from the door and faced him. The look of guilt in her eyes was replaced by concern as she got a closer look at his face that had taken a pretty harsh blow. He didn't deserve this - any of this. If he'd only listened to her when she'd tried to warn him before . . . but he thought she was being dramatic. She wasn't. She was being honest.

She almost went to touch his face, but she caught herself and refrained from doing so. Instead she let her hands rest down by her sides, and she canted her head to the side slightly. "Does it hurt a lot? He hit you pretty hard." And she knew what it was like to take a hit. Okay, so usually she just got backhanded instead of a full fist, but she'd taken a variety of blows that were pretty severe on occasion - usually after she got a little older and tried to fight back, even if it that only resulted in her smarting off and making things worse.

She knew they had a lot to talk about, but she didn't jump right into an explanation - not yet anyway. Right now she was worried about him. She wanted to make sure he was alright physically first. Then she wanted to give him the chance to say whatever was on his mind or ask anything he wanted to know. He was the one that had been kept in the dark, so right now it was her turn to just listen -- and take whatever came her way. Although she wasn't so good at doing just that, especially when he didn't immediately respond. She hated the quiet: the quiet always came before the storm.

So a minute or so into the heavy silence that had settled over them, she'd speak again. "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have dragged you into this. I knew before we spent the night together, but I didn't know if I was even going to tell him - if he'd want to know. I didn't know what I was going to do, and it put me in a vulnerable position. It required me to open up to someone, which isn't easy for me. It never has been. But being with you . . . it felt right." She paused briefly as she tried to read his expression before continuing. "You were someone that I could trust. Someone that liked me for just being me. I didn't have to impress you. I didn't have to prove my worth. But the only reason you liked what you saw is because you didn't see the flaws. You didn't see all of me - just the parts I let you see."

The irony in that statement was he had seen all of her in the physical sense, but he didn't really know her - not really. He didn't know where she came from or who she'd been. He didn't know her secrets, and he didn't know how brutal her past had been. She didn't want him to know. It wasn't something she was proud of, even if she hadn't really done anything wrong. In a twisted way, she figured she had to have done something to deserve what she'd been through. And yet she always wanted to believe that she could change that . . . she could change her roots and make a difference in the world. But the only difference she seemed to make was negative, and she still didn't understand why.

All she knew was that she should have left Derek alone for his own good, but she had been selfish - and now he was hurting. He was hurting because of her . . . and because of Mark who'd hit him, which was also because of her. "I really am sorry, Derek. I'm sorry that I lied to you - that I didn't tell you about Mark sooner." Before they had gone as far as they did. And with that said, she fell silent. Now it was his turn.
 
 
14 February 2007 @ 04:32 pm
After the little confrontation the four of them had outside Addison's office, she escorted Mark to the doctor's lounge so they could talk in private as he iced his hand. There was enough going around about them by now and they really didn't need anymore unnecessary drama, not that they didn't have a knack for creating some anyway. Really, if the hospital didn't have her life to gossip about, she was sure that something would come crumbling down because they never seemed to have anything else to talk about. She was sick of it, but she would deal.

Sitting Mark down in one of the chairs, she placed the ice pack onto his knuckles and went to sit herself down in the empty chair next to him. She sighed and looked at him, raising and eyebrow as she crossed her arms in front of her.

Where was she supposed to start? How was she supposed to approach this? Addison couldn't be completely mad at him because he was listening to the advice she'd given him which was to treat Juliet as he would one of the Shepherd girls. But he also could have handled the situation much better. Hitting Derek wasn't the only option and it certainly wasn't the best one. This only made her life more complicated that it already was.

Addison was trying to be friends with Derek, trying to get the friendship they'd developed long before they became Addison and Derek, the couple. They were doing pretty well, but this was sure to hinder things a bit. She couldn't have her boyfriend and father of her child hitting Derek if they were going to get as close as they were before. Things just didn't work that way.

"What in the world were you thinking?" she finally asked him with a sigh.