Juliet Dawson (juliet_dawson) wrote in sghospiital,
Juliet Dawson
juliet_dawson
sghospiital

Hospital lounge ( hoping you understand )

So after a long talk with Derek, they had decided ( or really he had decided for her ) that they were over. He didn't want to screw up her sibling relationship with Mark or compromise that in any way, so he'd removed himself from the picture. As noble of a gesture as that was, she didn't need people making decisions to protect her or spare her or any extra heartache. She believed that with time she could get Mark to understand or at least cut her a break about the whole Derek thing. But Derek didn't seem to want to fight, which was no surprise. He rarely did. Why should she be any different? He'd walked away from Addison and Meredith. She hadn't even meant anything to him. It was only a matter of time, and she should've known better. That still didn't make it any easier. It was almost as if it'd been a game - life was teasing her to see if she could still love . . . and she could, but nothing would ever come of it.

But then again she never got placed in an ideal situation - always the difficult ones. There wasn't a single aspect of her life that was simple and problem-free: not one. This was no exception.

As usual her day was slow, so she stopped by the lounge where she could temporarily take refuge and sort through her thoughts - or so she thought. Instead she found the room already occupied by the one person who she needed to see ( as much as she was dreading it ). A flicker of guilt was evident as hues rested on him, the door gently shut behind her. This wasn't supposed to be this way. She hadn't done anything wrong. Or maybe she had, but if that was the case, Mark had done the exact same thing. He had been with Addison when she was married to his best friend. How could he judge her when she didn't judge him for the choices he'd made? Was it that hard to understand? For a moment, she didn't know what to say - which was definitely a first for her. Hands were pressed together in front of her as she decided to address the issue but find an opening line that could lead up to the conversation they needed to have.

"How's your hand?" It didn't look too bad, but it could still hurt. She would've asked him the day before, only he stayed pretty busy up until the time he left, and she'd decided not to bother him at home. Her tone was laced with concern, although she still wasn't happy with the way he'd reacted. But she figured she'd already conveyed that.
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Mark was sitting at a table in the lounge with a patient's chart spread in front of him. Honestly, the chart was there more for show because he'd already memorized the patient's history, and he knew exactly what would be required for the cleft-palate surgery he'd be doing at 11. On top of the chart was a brochure he'd picked up about pregnancy. He was sick of Addison knowing much more about this whole thing than him, and he wasn't very good at asking questions. So, he'd been doing a lot of smiling and nodding without knowing much at all. He needed to be well-versed, or at least more knowledgeable, for Addison's appointment that afternoon. She was already bound to show him up.

He glanced up as Juliet entered and slid the brochure deep inside the chart. He wasn't sure what she expected him to say, but he wasn't about to apologize for what he did. Derek had deserved it. And, of course, he had no idea what she had decided to do. Hopefully, the shock had made her come to her senses and leave Derek. But, for a reason that escaped Mark completely, there was never a woman who could just leave Derek Shepherd.

Sighing, Mark decided silence wasn't going to work since she was obviously bent on talking. He glanced down at his hand, which really wasn't bothering him much at all. He hadn't hit Derek that hard. He nodded, "It's fine. Some residual soreness."
"I bet it's not nearly as sore as Derek's face." One brow quirked upwards as she shook her head lightly. She had been concerned, but now that she knew he was fine, she was more disappointed than anything - although the feeling was probably mutual. She'd side step and take a seat before she spoke again, unsure of exactly where she should begin. Instead she tried to start off on a positive note, although she wasn't so sure he'd find her comment amusing. Still, it was worth a shot. "Something good did come of this. Derek and I learned our lesson: no more public displays of affection - especially while at work." Somehow she doubted that was the lesson he was hoping she'd learn from this whole ordeal.

She absentmindedly fidgeted in her seat. Where was she supposed to go from here? Should she apologize? Explain herself? Both? How could she even make him understand where she was coming from? Brother and sister or not, they were so different on so many levels. Maybe there wasn't anything she could say, but she had to try. She had to say something. "I know you resent Derek for the way he treated Addison, but he's still a kind man. I'm not saying he hasn't made mistakes. Who hasn't? But overall, he's got a good heart." They had been friends for years. Surely Mark knew of some of Derek's positive qualities.

"I didn't plan on getting involved with him. I know that's what everyone always says, but it's the truth. It just happened, and I promise you that I was the last person who expected anything real to come out of it. And I'm sorry if that hurts you. But Derek did not seduce me, and he didn't take advantage of me." Who was the pursuer and who was the pursued, even she wasn't sure of. The way she viewed it, they'd mutually agreed to start a relationship.

"I thought of all people you'd understand. Whether loving a particular person is wrong or right, it doesn't change how you feel." There was another long pause as she went through her list of things to say ( or possible things to say ). But for now, she'd only add a little and give him a chance to respond before continuing. "I know you don't trust Derek, but trust me. This doesn't change anything."
Mark gave a small smirk at her quip about Derek's face. At least there was some lasting repercussion to the other man, although from Juliet's Derek and I, it hadn't been what Mark had been hoping for. Apparently, they were still together, and Mark's disapproval meant nothing.

What was it with women and Derek Shepherd? Something about that McDreamy appearance and charm made them think that he wouldn't hurt them or that he was a good guy. It lured them into a false sense of security, and even strong women like Addison managed to fall under his spell and get hurt.

Juliet didn't understand that. Addison never understood that. Even after Derek had left New York for Seattle, Addison hadn't believed that he had the capacity to hurt her. She'd followed him across the country to work on their marriage and had gotten hurt again. So, Juliet chosing to stay with Derek wasn't too much of a surprise, but Mark felt he already knew what the outcome would be.

Steeling his jaw, Mark looked at her. He wasn't sure what to say. She was almost desperately trying to get him to give her his approval, but Mark didn't know if he could do that. How could he allow someone to get hurt by Derek Shepherd?

"My relationship with Addison isn't the same thing as whatever it is you have with Derek," Mark told her simply, his arms folding across his chest. He observed her for a few moments in silence.

"You're more than capable of making your own decisions and, obviously, there's really nothing I can do to keep you apart from him. So, I'm not going to try. But I won't give you my blessing, or whatever it is you want."
She almost rolled her eyes when he said that his relationship with Addison wasn't the same as what she and Derek had. How did he know? He was just quick to dismiss her relationship with Derek as some kind of dirty fling because he didn't like it. But she caught herself and didn't. Giving him attitude wasn't going to help the situation any.

His blessing? She definitely hadn't expected him to give her that, but she had been hoping for his approval - which she obviously wasn't going to get. The corners of her lips dipped down into a small frown as she sighed. Why did he have to be so stubborn about this? But at least he wasn't forbidding her from seeing Derek - not that that would've worked. She didn't take orders from anyone: not unless it pertained to work.

"It's been a long time. Why can't you just let it go? He and Addison are trying to forgive and forget, why can't you?" Her shoulders rose and fell in a light shrug. "Do you really think it's fair that he spend the rest of his life alone because he made a bad choice?" She asked, but she had a pretty good idea that she already knew the answer to that question. Mark could care less whether Derek was ever happy again for the rest of his life. It wasn't because he was mean-spirited, but he certainly had a deep seeded hatred for his former best friend. She still didn't completely understand why, either. Maybe she never would, but it wouldn't stop her from trying.

She couldn't tell whether he saw this as a form of betrayel, or whether he was just pissed off that she and Derek had hooked up. If the latter was true, it could wear off with time.
Mark sighed. He wasn't anywhere near ready for forgiveness. Derek didn't deserve his forgiveness. There was just too much water under the bridge, and for Juliet to think she could change that was ludicrous. He didn't like the thought of his sister sleeping with someone he detested so much, and he was sure that Juliet's relation to him was a huge detraction for Derek.

"He had his chance, and he gave it up," He told her coolly, "Addison's decision to attempt to forgive and forget is her business. I don't feel obligated in any way to do the same."
This wasn't going exactly as she'd planned. He was mad, but he wasn't coming right out and saying it. Instead he was all calm and matter of fact, which wasn't something she was used to. Most of time when she confronted someone about something, they reacted violently - or at least got angry. It was what she'd grown accustomed to: what she knew how to handle. But this? She didn't know how to respond to this or what she should or shouldn't say next. He wasn't really giving her much to respond to -- so they'd have to do this the hard way.

She was going to have to be the instigator and try and get him to talk to her - really talk to her, like the night they had a few drinks at Joe's. Honest conversation: it was what she was looking for. Unfortunately, Mark was never much to overly volunteer information about himself or speak abundantly. That was more her forte. She just didn't know how to get him talking . . . push his buttons, sorta speak. In a way she didn't really want to.

A small nod was given as the room momentarily became engulfed in silence. But as always, she broke it a minute or so later. "What do you want me to do?" In a way, she already knew the answer to that. But she couldn't defend herself or rationalize the situation - she couldn't find a way that this could be okay between them - if he refused to admit he was just as unhappy with her as he was with Derek.

It was a simple question, although this was her life they were talking about: hers and Derek's.
Mark shook his head. He wasn't sure what she wanted him to say. She knew what he wanted, or at least she had some inkling. But that wasn't Mark. He wasn't about to give her some ultimatum. He'd never done that with Addison or tried to convince her to leave Derek. He wouldn't do that with Juliet.

"Stop looking for my approval or my acceptance," He told her. "You're not going to get it. You're free to screw... or date whomever you want. You're not a child. Don't expect me to approve, though."

juliet_dawson

10 years ago

mark_sl0an

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juliet_dawson

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mark_sl0an

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juliet_dawson

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mark_sl0an

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juliet_dawson

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mark_sl0an

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juliet_dawson

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mark_sl0an

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juliet_dawson

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mark_sl0an

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juliet_dawson

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mark_sl0an

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juliet_dawson

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mark_sl0an

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juliet_dawson

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mark_sl0an

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juliet_dawson

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"If I didn't believe that, do you honestly think I'd still be here?" She hated wasted time - or when people wasted her time, especially when it was something that she worked so long and hard for. She was fully aware that all this was a 'learning process' or else she would've quit a long time ago. She wasn't one to get jerked around and just sit there and take it.

Still, she wondered why some doctors were so much tougher than others when it came to what they expected from their interns. Were they really better than the other surgeons, or did they just think they were? It didn't really matter one way or the other. If jumping through hoops was required, she'd keep jumping until there weren't any left.

There was no attitude behind the question, and her attention soon shifted back to the chart in her hand as she reviewed its contents. Every now and then she'd toss in a question regarding something she'd read because it was incredibly strange with him just sitting there with nothing to do. That and the fact that she was curious to know a little more detail about a couple of things she'd read -- not that the majority of the information in the chart was something she hadn't seen at some point in her career.

After she finished, she'd slide the chart back over to him. Hands lifted to fold, one on top of the other, on top of the table as she canted her head to the side. "I think I already know the answer to this, but I'm going to ask anyway. Could I observe from inside the OR? I don't even have to do anything." Because she knew how strict he was about letting an intern scrub in and assist with any of his patients. "I won't come within ten feet of your table. But it's different when you're actually in the room. You notice more."

When he didn't immediately respond, she'd speak once more. "The way I see it, we can either talk about how good you are in surgery, or I can ask you personal questions which you never like to answer. So . . . you'd kind of be helping yourself out. Unless you want to start avoiding me altogether which is really a lot of extra work you don't need, and I don't think it'd work anyway."
She was bold. Not that Mark was suprised. Juliet Dawson had been outgoing and unapologetic since the first moment he met her. But for her to ask to scrub in on one of his surgeries was a boldness of a whole new level. He was Mark Sloan, head of plastics. He was the man who could eat interns for lunch. And she had asked to scrub in one of his surgeries. That was bold.

And Mark liked bold.

But he didn't go soft and emotional for anyone (except maybe Addison, but he wouldn't admit that to anyone) and he wasn't sure if he could just let Juliet Dawson scrub in on his surgery. Especially since she was his sister. No one else knew, so his reputation wouldn't be in danger. In fact, most people would asssume he was letting her scrub in on his surgery to get in her pants. Which was better than assuming that he went soft and was letting interns scrub in on his surgeries.

He observed her for several moments. He was going to let her scrub in eventually. She obviously had ome talent in the field, and he already planned to allow her to do her plastics residency at Seattle Grace. There was no reason not to award her boldness. Being a surgeon required boldness. She had to learn that.

"If you can remain silent through the entire surgery, you can observe from inside the OR," Mark agreed, "But I don't need any of your incessant rambling while I'm working."
If she wasn't so thrilled that he was going to let her scrub in on his surgery, she would've found that remark insulting. She didn't ramble all the time - at least not when she was working. The problem was she was rarely actually working, so she had excessive amounts of time to waste. But then again to someone who wasn't ordinarily all that chatty, it must've seemed like she was 'rambling' all the time.

Chatterbox or not, he was agreeing. That meant she had to be doing something right. What would really help was to figure out exactly what it was she had done to win his favoritism so she could keep doing that. It couldn't be the coffee; anyone could get coffee. Maybe it was the paperwork. He acted as if no intern had ever volunteered to do his paperwork before. Or maybe he was simply trying to avoid more talking, which was a strong possibility - but she didn't think that he'd jeopardize the safety of his patients just to shut her up, so he had to somewhat trust her on a professional level. Really, she didn't care what the reasoning was behind his decision. She was getting to scrub in in less than an hour on a cleft palate surgery.

Her smile broadened. "Absolutely silent. You won't hear a single word from me. It'll be like I'm not even there." Only she would be there. She was getting to scrub in. Tonight she was going to celebrate . . . somehow. She didn't know exactly how she was going to do that just yet, but she was going to. It was definitely enough to make her day brighter. She was fairly easy to please. "You won't be sorry. And thank you - again. Only this time I mean it a little more than before. You wanted gratitude? This - this is gratitude. This is lots of gratitude." Rambling? Maybe a little, but she was very enthusiastic when it came to her job. That was a good thing, right?

Mark chuckled, as she continued to prove her tendency to talk relentlessly. He'd allowed a small number of interns to scrub in on his surgeries (if he honestly had to count, he was sure that number could be counted on two hands), but they never really showered him in thanks and gratitude. He figured they thought it was the way Mark approved of his interns acting, with an air of professionalism. Truth be told, he wasn't quite sure how to handle her overly energetic reaction.

"Just don't make me regret it," He cautioned, "If you thought gaining the right to scrub in was hard the first time... don't expect any amount of sucking up to allow you in if I regret it."
"Your faith in me is inspiring." There was a brief pause before she added definitively. "You won't regret it." And she was going to try from now until it was time for surgery to not do or say anyting to make him change his mind. He definitely could do that, but he wouldn't, would he? She should probably go find something else to do until it was time to scrub in so she didn't jeopardize her chances or press her luck, but she really didn't want to stumble into Derek; it could put a damper on her mood. She could pull off cool, calm, and collected: she just rather not right now. She was comfortable where she was -- hiding out in the lounge.

But they had to find something to talk about to pass the time. They'd already looked over the chart and were familiar with the case, so there wasn't much else to do in preperation - not right now, anyway.

Hues would settle on the brochure that he'd been looking over previously as the conversation drifted in a totally different direction. "Do you want a boy or a girl?" She had changed topics rather quickly, and he might not've followed so she made a small gesture towards the 'all you need to know' guide to pregnancy in front of him -- although she was sure a pamphlet of that size could only contain so much information.

There was a chance he hadn't even thought about it, in which case she was sure he'd say so.

Mark instantly raised an eyebrow in curiosity. Juliet was his sister, and he'd opened up personal information to her before. But it didn't make the question any less strange or awkward at first. He didn't usually open up about things of a personal nature. It didn't necessarily come naturally.

"I, uh, I suppose the politically correct answer is that the sex doesn't matter as long as its healthy," Mark responded, taking a middle ground between refusing to answer and answering with complete honesty.
"I didn't realize we were being politically correct, but that's a good answer." It could be a way of saying that the sex didn't matter. For some parents, that was the case - although most had a preference. In a way though she knew he really just didn't want to answer the question or he didn't know how to. Whatever the case, she didn't push the subject. Mark Sloan not having all the answers was a concept that was still hard for her to grasp, but fatherhood wasn't anything you could go to school for and perfect after a series of trial and errors.

"He or she will be. Just look at its parents. If it was possible for a person to be genetically enhanced physically, brilliant, and completely healthy, you and Addison would be the male and female models of perfection. Although realistically, no one's perfect." But it was good to come close. She wasn't sucking up at this point; she was being honest. People who really loved to gossip liked to pick 'beautiful couples' from Hollywood that they gushed over and focused all their attention on. Mark and Addison were hands down the 'beautiful couple' of Seattle Grace - and everyone took notice. It could be a gift and a curse. She, unlike her brother, had no problem staying out of the spotlight -- except when it came to her career.

There was a lot of competition in the medical field, so there were times when it was crucial to stand out, and she understood how important it was to do just that when the time was right. Did she always seek the top position? Not really. She hadn't signed on for this career to achieve fame or public appraisal. She did it because she could - she could make a difference.
Mark had to laugh at her assertion that he and Addison were models of perfection. He was confident (cocky, most had said), but to call himself a model of perfection was something of a stretch. It was an interesting concept, though, and he could almost see where she was coming from.

"Models of perfection, hmmm?" He wondered, still laughing slightly, "I think that's an interesting view point."

juliet_dawson

10 years ago

mark_sl0an

10 years ago

juliet_dawson

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mark_sl0an

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juliet_dawson

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mark_sl0an

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juliet_dawson

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mark_sl0an

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juliet_dawson

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